End of line.
2012 was supposed to be the year when I broke in to the industry. Didn't happen.
I worked pretty fucking hard, but I guess it wasn't enough.
Lame end to a memorable journey.
I'm gonna dissect the journey in case some one like me ends up here and is in a dilemma.
Here's a quote from my 1st post -
I may end up failing - DONE
It feels miserable, no longer feel like Awesome-O. Haven't socialized in 2 or 3 years. It's tough for an introvert to start making new friends again... I hate humans anyway.
I may not get the same pay for another 5 years even if I end up being a web-developer. - Nope
Well, I should have listened to the free advice out there - don't quit your day job. Life turned upside down within 3 months. By the 4th month I started looking out for a job, found one in 6. I ended up working as a fresh graduate. If you are in such a situation then find a job that will help you in the future - I joined because of C++ / C# / Windows developer. To be honest, I learnt a lot, enjoyed the company of a few awesome coders.
Good thing I took the day job as a backup. I actually am getting (a lot more) more than what I expected.
But i have this gap of 6 months that I can't show any experience and to my bad luck, it falls in the "recession" time. HRs usually think I got fired.. more lameness...
Get ready to watch your friends / college room-mates earn like shit and get promoted while you still are 1 year lamer (if you are primarily in the midst of out-sourced no-talent people, then you will NOT get promoted because of performance - keep this in mind - only experience in years count)
I may end up losing everyone I love. [I'll still have myself though] - DONE
Yeah, I still love me O_o
I lost everyone else though, conceptually speaking.
Actually if I look back, I thought the toughest challenge in the worst-case would be to find a job. Totally wrong, turned out to be easiest. Toughest is realization of what you lost, what you trusted, what fooled you for so many years, whats gonna stick with you for the rest of your life..
Hard part for me was getting my life back together... Be warned - you'll lose a lot of people you love. But on the plus side, you just end up unit-testing people and fixing bugs in life.. so I'm kinda really glad it happened. Trust me on this.
I may have to start all over again as a fresher - DONE
I did. But remember again - Don't fucking quit your day job. Find one that doesn't stress you out too much, has good work-culture and doesn't require too much commute time.
I may end up following my dream - Bah
You may end up watching your dream crumble and feel helpless... x_x
But sure feels good... \m/
So what am I going to do?
Well, I'll be just another software geek. But -
I'll still follow the industry.
I'll still be using Unity.
I'll probably watch the demise of XNA in the coming few years (sad, I know).
I'll still dream
I still hope that someday I'll make it - say 10 years from now? (O'Henry cliche)
To all my loyal 4 followers and a few more others - Adios. I wish you succeed in your pursuit of happiness.
This blog will contain mainly right-side-of-the-brain-related stuff from now on. Doesn't mean I'll stop coding... c'mon... I'll still post some stuffs for the kicks.
At this point, I would like to sincerely thank -
XNA Creator's Club - It started here. I learnt "real" programming here.
Unity 3D - Most non-evil corporate entity I've ever seen (please remain like this)
Team behind X-Files, Fringe, Battlestar Galactica - Few things that have made me dream even more.
Right, now to see if there are indie / free licenses for artistic programs out there... I get bored you know.
NTFS: Lengthiest blog post x_x